I Need An Answer On This

Okay, so hello. I know I haven’t been updating this a lot. I could make up a great excuse like I was backpacking through Costa Rica or spending a wild summer in Amsterdam or something but we both know that’s not true. So I’m just going to say I’ve been lazy and life has been even more unexciting than usual and we’ll call it a day, okay?

Okay.

Now, I need some help. So y’all know I love Rafael Nadal right? Of course you do. And even though Roland Garros ’09 NEVER HAPPENED YOU HEAR ME IT NEVER HAPPENED I was watching a few online news reports about his injury. I don’t understand a word of this, but I was watching it nonetheless. Anyway, I have a huge question about his video and I need ya’ll to help me out here.

No, I don’t want a translation. Although if you know what they said it’d be awesome if you told me. But no, that’s not my question. My question is this-the guy between 14-21 seconds…is he rocking dreads? Here, another look starting at 35 seconds:

See, in the second vid it totally looks like dreads. And usually I’m not a fan of dreads. Wait, strike that. I’m not a fan of white guys rocking dreads. To me it looks a bit poserish. But if this guy is then why am I just seeing Spanish guy with dreads? And how come there aren’t a lot of really cute Spanish guys with dreads in South Carolina? And does anyone want to loan me $1500 so I can find really cute Spanish guy with dreads in Barcelona and seduce him?

And if he isn’t…well, just forget I ever asked.

Some Advice For When You Go To Sleep

If you’re suffering from insomnia and you’re flipping around the channels on the television because, well, you have insomnia and watching the tele is a lot easier than reading a book, don’t don’t don’t watch the History Channel when they have on a program about the end of the world and the Mayans and Nostradamus and some Southern dude who seemed to predict people’s medical problems and WWII before WWII happened. Because eventually you will fall asleep and your dreams will all end up being strange people coming into your room reading every medical problem you have (or may soon get) and then calling and texting you about how the world is going to end. And 30 seconds after they call or text all the things start happening. And you’ll start getting scared and freaking out, so much so that you’ll wake yourself up and still be scared shitless and start searching around your bedroom frantically making sure no strange people is in there with you.

So, yeah. Just thought it might be helpful.

On Grilled Cheese

My life the past few weeks have been filled with boringness. Like, boring boringness. So I’m just going to tell you the most interesting part of last week for me…

making my first grilled cheese sandwich.

Yes, I’m 23 years old and the first time I have ever had a grilled cheese sandwich was last week. My mother never made them when I was younger and when I got older I never thought that much about them. Actually, that’s a lie. Every time I heard someone talk about them I always thought about how it’s just melted cheese on two pieces of bread and nothing more. I wondered how could something so simple be so good to have place in Americana pop culture. And then after wondering soon decided that because of how simple it is the sandwich was just overrated and I wasn’t missing much and moved on.

That was until I had nothing else in my refrigerator besides cheese, margarine, eggs, and a loaf of pre-sliced white bread. And realized, since I kinda hate fried eggs, that a grilled cheese was the only thing I had to eat. So I did what any reasonable person who had never had something before does-I youtubed grilled cheese to see how to make one. Yes, I knew of the ingredients but had no idea how to make one. That is the type of person you’re reading a blog post from.

Anyway, I searched and watched at least seven different people make grilled cheese sandwiches. And they did everything from using the oven or a microwave to melt the cheese (which seems kinda eww to me) to adding in apples and different types of meats. Which completely blew my mind. I thought a grilled cheese was simply cheese and nothing more. If I had known about this whole meat thing I would have probably made this sooner. But I digress.

So after watching the videos I decided to use the simply route shown on the Kraft youtube channel and go with it. I don’t have a picture of my first one but let’s just say that attempt wasn’t good. The bread burned, my kitchen smelled smokey, and I spent a good 15 minutes trying to stop the smoke alarm. Yes, I completely and totally failed with my first try at making grilled cheese. Here’s the thing-I should probably stop trying to cut corners like heating the frying pan while putting the sandwich together. Oh, and I should have let things get to room temperature. Taking both the cheese and the maragrine right out of the fridge and thinking it was going to be easy to melt (cheese) and spread (margarine) was my biggest mistake. Also I had seen on another vid that it took about four minutes. I tend to take things literally and that was a major mistake. And using cheap ass bread probably didn’t help either. While spreading the margarine on it the bread kinda tore up and thus burnt the cheese in the pan.  Yeah, it wasn’t pretty for the eyes, nose, or mouth.

After I got the majority of the smoke out and washed everything I tried again with better results. First I just melted the margarine for one side in the pan and put the sandwich in that. Then the margarine was easy to spread for the other side and instead of doing the spreading for the second side while in the frying pan I did it pre-frying, just put the buttered side (yes, I know it wasn’t butter but that’s the saying) on the top that way it didn’t take so long. I also just kinda eye balled it to see if the cheese was melting and didn’t wait for the four minutes suggested. And success. It was 10x better. And I finally got it. There are simply very few things better than melted cheese. I think next time I’m going to try adding in some of that meat (can we say bacon y’all?) and trying to make it somehow less greasy. It was good but I don’t like that much oil on the fingers after eating it because that means there was even more oil I ingested. Would the butter have made a difference there, making it somehow less oily and fatty? Although, again, it’s melted cheese so I probably shouldn’t be worrying about the fat content.

So that’s it. The highlight of last week. I’ve included a picture below because, well, I can I guess. And I was proud at my accomplishment. But now I’m wondering how come I can do a 15 step recipe without any difficulty but I needed two tries to make a decent grilled cheese? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again-something is wrong with me.

Oh, before I forget I thought I’d tell y’all that I used American (basically the Kraft singles slice cheese thingy) and mozzarella cheese. Very good combination, but I think I’ll try other cheeses next time as well as adding meat. Also maybe I’ll try butter. I usually hate the flavor of it and that’s why I use margarine. I wonder if the flavor changes dramatically if using one or the other. Does anyone have any experience with both butter and margarine on grilled cheese?

(Also, I just wrote 800 words on a grilled cheese sandwich. For some reason I’m getting a good chuckle out of it.)

While in the frying pan. Obviously.

Hey Y’all

Hey Y’all

One of these days I’m going to stop the whole Southern stereotype speech stuff. I promise.

Anyway, here we are at the new place. New template, which I like a lot. Yay! Don’t have to deal with headers and crap. Maybe one day I’ll switch to a new one, especially if I go back to hosting my blog, but for now this is going to be it.

Okay, can I ask one favor from all of you? If you see this in your reader can you please comment? I just want to make sure I got all the feed stuff right. Even if you clicked over here from the old blog, if you see this eventually in your reader just give me a “yeah, the feed was updated” or something of that sort.

Thanks everyone. I hope all of you had a good Easter.

Like, Hi

So, I don’t write around here too much. No reason really. I just don’t have anything to blog about. You know, I say this every so often and say that I’m not going to do it again and yet I end up back here every single time.

Hmm, I don’t know if there was a point to that. Just sayin, that’s all.

So until I can think of something to write about here’s a video I saw last week. Don’t remember where so apologies to that blog/site. Although me not being able to remember just reinforces the video I think.

How I Wish I Had This Then

This is a writing prompt over at Twenty Something Writers. Not to say that I think of myself as a writer. I just kinda love me some writing prompts. But I also thought this would be an interesting post. So here goes.

Dear 13 year old SA,

Hi. How’s it going? Pretty damn sucky, I know. I’m you. Only 10 years older and hopefully wiser. Look, I’m not going to sit here and write all these positive things about hang in there and you’ll be okay in the long run and all that other bs. I know you hate all that crap. But yes, it’ll start to get better. After about four years. I know, it’ll drag on like hell, but you’ll make it. I promise. I’m going to give you 20 truths about the next 10 years. Use this how you may.

1. That kid that teases you relentless in middle school now? The one you genuinely hate? The one you considered kicking in the balls when he was teasing you right in your face in front of everybody? He’s going to flunk eighth grade. And then get expelled from high school. And the moment the HS principal tells him he’s been expelled and he walks out of the principal’s office with his mother yelling at him loudly the whole time, you’ll get a grin as big as the Grinch on your face. He’ll see you, try to start doing all the eighth grade teasing shit, and you’ll just burst out laughing and tell him that “I’m graduating in a year. You’re dumber than the kids in Special Ed. I rule over you fucker.” This will be heard by the principal and administrators in the office and they’ll verbally reprimand you. But other than that you’ll be okay. I tell you this for one reason-don’t let him get to you so much. He will be irrelevant in three months and won’t be able to hurt you again. But here’s a tip: try to forget his name. 10 years later you really don’t want to be remembering who he was. Trust me on this one.

2. It’s so geeky, but don’t quit band. You love it and you’ll regret not staying in it.

3. Those people who you thought were your friends? Yeah, not really. They are “school friends.” Don’t rely on these people. You’ll get a good hint of this come April when you and your “friends” go to the All-State concert (see, you were damn good at the clarinet! You were one of the 24 best players in the entire state of South Carolina! Don’t quit!) and they treat you like you don’t exist. I’m begging you, don’t rely on these people. They are going to hurt you.

4. Move to Texas. Your father will get a job there and you’re going to be insistent on staying. Don’t. Start over. Yes, moving is hard. But you might have a better life than you do now. Plus, you can tell people you’re from Texas instead of from South Carolina. Which, well, I have no idea if that’s truly better or not, but I’m going with better.

5. When your sophomore Honors English teacher tells you you write extremely well, even though you never really wrote anything beyond something for class before, start writing. A lot. You really don’t want to be wasting something everyone says you do extremely well. Even if you don’t think you’re that good. Just start freaking writing.

6. Speaking of, when you do start to write those stories, instead of keeping them to yourself and ultimately burning them one Saturday when your grandfather is burning leaves in his yard, give them to people to read. It’ll get you to be more comfortable of people reading your work and you wouldn’t have BURNED ALL THOSE DAMN STORIES YOU WROTE.

7. Your brother is going to hurt you. Your father is going to hurt you. Both in different but almost equally hurtful ways. You won’t get past this. I wish I could tell you something to help, but I really can’t.

8. And while on the topic of dear ole dad, cut your losses. Stop trying to help him out. Please remember that he’s a “grown ass man.” He had two children. If he can’t get his life together it’s not up to you to get it together for him. Those dreams you have of getting the hell out of South Carolina and living on your own will be greatly impaired by him. You need to, especially in high school, start focusing on what you want in life. You can’t help him if he doesn’t want to be helped.

9. Do your damnedest to not go to a state school. And even if you go it won’t be so bad. Just join every club under the sun. And go to the welcome week programs and parties and such. Make new friends. Look, I know that’s hard for you to do, but try damn it. You will totally thank me later.

10. You kinda hate Journalism. Don’t major in it and waste classes you’ll have to make up.

11. Don’t hate gym so much. When you take it as a freshman in HS you will totally kick its ass (100! At gym!) Oh, and start playing sports. You enjoy watching them too much to not participate.

12. And on sports, grow a thick skin. You’re a fan of Duke basketball and Michigan football. You will be hated. You’ll have a lot less hurt feelings when you realize this.

13. Your mother is awesome. Pure awesome. Start to appreciate her more.

14. You know the little teenage kid in Cash Money Millionaires? He’s going to be one of the biggest rappers in music when you get older. You won’t understand it. Just thought you should know.

15. Learn to swim. You don’t want to be 23 and not know how to.

16. It won’t be the end of the world if a bitch you totally hate starts dating the guy you’ve been crushing on for over a year. They come and go. And you’ll start liking every type of guy under the sun. So don’t fret about it.

17. Also, don’t be the other woman. You’ll hate yourself. And feel like karma is going to come back on you in a big way thus making you kinda scared to start any new relationship.

18. You grow up to be a bit crazy. It’s okay. You’ll kinda enjoy it.

19. I would tell you to let your hair go natural, but I honestly don’t think you’re ready for that yet. So I’ll just say to start thinking about it and researching it some. Unlike a lot of other people, your mother will be somewhat supportive. I say somewhat because she’ll still tell you to straighten your hair every now and then, but don’t get upset. Just smile and realize she’s telling you this based on her experiences. And if you ever do get frustrated by this, go read #13 again.

20. I know it’s hard. I know life sucks. I know you have problems with “friends” and family and school and bullies and all that. Just keep telling this one simple thing to yourself-this is not, despite what every damn teacher in your schools say, the best time of your life. Not by a long shot. Those days will come. So please don’t feel like you’re missing out on some big thing.You aren’t.

I hope those help you get through the next 10 years. And if not then deal with it. I never had any of this. I actually had to go through and live this. Be happy you’re getting a bit of a manual.

Loves,

23 year old SA

Some Things You Just Can’t Unsee

I really wish I had the words to lead up to these two vids on Youtube you should see. But I don’t. Because they both have left me speechless. Literally speechless. So I’m just going to post them. I feel like I shouldn’t post them at the same time because together they make me a bit skeevy. But whatevs. So please enjoy parents who have way too much time on their hands and a turtle dry humping a shoe.

I feel like these two things will change your life. Not for the better mind you. But change your life nonetheless.

(As always, I’m sure I’m the last person to have seen these two videos. If you have seen them before then ignore me. I have a simple mind.)

(HT: TSW and GQbound on the twitters)